


Another Place

by orionstarlight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Dreams, F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Song Lyrics, Sunrises, Tea, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27120716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orionstarlight/pseuds/orionstarlight
Summary: “You ever think about how you’re going to die?” you ask, still looking at the green expanse, taking a sip of tea.Against better reasoning, he sits down next to you. “I don’t stop. None of us do.”-----You and Levi wait out the sunrise on Wall Maria, talking of death and dreams, of loss and of hope.[ Takes place before the events in the anime. ]
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	Another Place

**Author's Note:**

> hi so this is my first Levi fic and tbh I'm kind of nervous because he's a very easy character to write OOC, so i hope i didn't fail there. as always, kudos comments and shares are welcome, and this fic would not be possible without reasonliving's 'bitter brew' fic, which i'll link so you can check it out :)
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26634541
> 
> SONG:  
> Bastille - Another Place (Visualiser) ft. The Chamber Orchestra Of London

**_I am bound to you with a tie that we cannot break_ **

**_With a night that we can’t replace_ **

The last night you slept? It’s hard to recall. You’re too concerned with analysing the battlefronts you’re to face to worry about something so unnecessary.

It does get cold though, sitting on the wall all night long, wind hitting every area of skin you leave exposed. But after so long, you’re used to it. It’d almost feel wrong to have a soft bed instead of hard rock under your body to rest on, no sunrise for you to wait for. 

“I’m not washing your clothes anymore.” 

You smile at the sound of his voice. “No one ever asked you to, Clean Freak.” 

You see the smack to your head coming a mile away and manage to dodge it, only his fingertips brushing against your skull. That man’s short temper makes him incredibly predictable.

**_I’m lost but found with you, in a bed that we’ll never make_ **

**_It’s a feeling we always chase_ **

“Did you at least bring tea with this scold?” Your answer is a thermos in front of your face. “Thanks.” 

“You can’t survive on tea alone.” 

“You do.” 

He can’t argue with that, he knows, but he does get more sleep than you, that much is true. Probably because he doesn’t see anything beautiful in the fields in front of Wall Maria, not that there is, and yet you can’t stop yourself from coming out here nearly every night and just _looking_. 

You’ve never found yourself dreaming of a different life. What would that even entail? Being married off and having to start a family with a man you don’t even love? The Titans give you an excuse to fight, at least, and it’s easy for you to avoid an unwanted fate.

“You ever think about how you’re going to die?” you ask, still looking at the green expanse, taking a sip of tea.

Against better reasoning, he sits down next to you. “I don’t stop. None of us do.”

You kiss your teeth at the air, lying down on the cold stone. There he goes again, being serious and broody. If you don’t stop him now, he’ll probably be starting a new monologue.

“I was hoping for a story. Like the ones they tell you as a kid — you know, hero sacrifices his life to defeat the villain and in doing so is commemorated in history forever.”

**_I could write a book about the things you said to me on the pillow_ **

**_And the way you think, and how you make me feel_ **

“What are you, four?” he scoffs, taking the thermos back.

“I wish. I didn’t even know what a Titan was back then. Only thing I was concerned with was if I could lead a hunt as good as my father.”

You wouldn’t exactly say your mother was on the same page as you when you told her. As the oldest of three, you were supposed to set an example, not dream of violence and war. So, as soon as you found yourself strong enough, you left. You had nothing and no one to stick around for.

You sit back up, reaching for the tea again, and say, “Didn’t peg you for a guy who would willingly sit down on a dirty floor.”

He side-eyes you, but there’s no malice behind it. “I wasn’t going to stay standing like an idiot.”

“Why stay at all?”

“Don’t want a member of my team getting eaten.”

You don’t know what you were expecting. He’s way too emotionally unavailable to be even the slightest bit flirtatious, joking or not. You stand up, teetering on the edge of the wall, watching rocks crumble beneath your feet. It’d be a bad fall if you had no balance in your body.

The wind picks up again and it takes your all not to give in and be taken away by it. Levi pulls you back by your collar, exasperated by your recklessness, even if it isn’t anything new.

“I think I’ll be at peace when I die. I think as soon as you forget to be scared, you forget you’re supposed to live as long as possible,” you say softly, a cloud of cold leaving your lungs. “Dying so someone else can live. I’m okay with that.”

**_You can feel my mind and move my body with the fiction, fantasies_ **

**_Just call this what it is, we don’t pretend it’s real_ **

“Are you always so grim before the sun can rise?”

He sits back down, propping one knee up so he can rest his arm on it. You drop down beside him, watching him drink like he always does, one hand covering the top of the cup. You’d been mimicking the movement yourself for a while now.

“You’re never around to see it,” you shrug. “Always cleaning something or signing papers somewhere. Doing your job instead of having fun.”

His left eyebrow goes up.

“Contemplating your death on a wall you could fall off of at the dead of night is fun now?” 

You frown. “Dead of night? I’d say it’s closer to dawn.” It’s too easy to see the landscape in front of you for it to be the dead of night.

He’s always been impressed by your eyesight. It’s hard to catch you off guard these days, but once you figured out how to stop being surprised by things, sneaking up on you got that much harder. Well, only physical things could no longer sneak up on you. The metaphorical always manage to find a crack to slip into.

“I’ll probably die in pain, if the world still has more to give me. I’m not expecting serenity,” he murmurs, cup just inches from his lip.

You laugh shortly. “The great Levi Ackerman, die? I don’t see it.”

“Let’s hope it stays that way.”

**_So don’t make promises to me that you’re gonna break_ **

**_We only ever wanted one thing from this_ **

This time it’s your turn to smack him upside the head, a move he narrowly avoids. Now who’s being reckless? He looks like he wants to kill you when he makes eye contact again.

“You know that the team would give our lives for you out there any day. We don’t stand a chance of winning this war if you're not at the front lines,” you state firmly. A hero commemorated by history… none of you have any doubts who it’ll be.

“I’m not God,” he replies.

You rest your head against his shoulder, feeling him tense. You know he hates when you treat him like he’s about as scary as a kitten, which is precisely why you do it. He never pushes you away, either, so if he really wanted to be rid of the contact, he’d act upon it.

“Close enough.”

“Good grief. You’re just as bad as the rest of them.” He runs his fingers through his hair, stopping halfway. “It’s foolish to die for one man.”

Everybody on the team knows it’s foolish, but it’s the silent pact you’ve made. He hates meaningless death, you know that, but to you it isn’t meaningless. Not a single wall has fallen in a century and with humanity’s strongest fighter on your side, maybe the people that live within those walls can keep their false sense of security. You’ll stay with Levi for as long as you can to ensure that.

**_Don’t paint wonderful lies on me that wash away_ **

**_We only ever wanted one thing from this_ **

“And if we do win?” he asks, suddenly optimistic.

You go to answer but you find your mouth void of words. It dawns on you that you’ve never actually thought about what would happen if you managed to bring the Titans down. And yet, when you think about it, it seems obvious.

The taste of blood in your mouth as you hit the ground, the sound of gas from your omni-directional manoeuvring gear, the slice that makes a Titan fall — to lose that would be to lose a part of yourself.

“I’ll still be fighting. Right until Death themself appears at my door.”

“Tsk. You and Hange are cut from the same cloth.”

You splutter indignantly, offended he would even suggest that you’re that much off the rails. You love Hange, but really, they are on a level you never hope you reach. “I’m not the one running a mad science lab!”

He rolls his eyes at you. “Is there really nothing else you see yourself doing apart from finding new ways to stop your heart from beating?”

You know why he’s being persistent. That rage you feel every time you go into battle? That won’t last forever, and you need some other drive than pure hatred. Knowing him, he’s probably open up his own tea shop or something stupid like that.

“If you’re asking me to start dreaming, Ackerman, you’re asking too late. I’ve been wide awake for too long.”

**_Oh, in another place_ **

**_In another time, what could we have been?_ **

You catch his gaze as you smile sadly. He realises then, just how long it’s been since you started breaking. You were already littered with small cuts before you joined the Training Corps, and the years haven’t done anything for you. Not yet a corpse; still, you rot.

“Well, these nights up here alone aren’t helping.”

Your smile shifts to a grin. “You trying to brighten up my night? You’re really not acting like yourself here.”

“I’m letting you know I’m going to bed, for the few hours I have left, at least,” he says, getting up. The breeze around you picks up.

“One hour of sleep is the most you’ll get. Unless — and it’ll be totally out of character for you — you sleep in, miss breakfast, and come only to the end of the training session.”

That stops him in his tracks, thinking it over. He managed to get some shut-eye after dinner earlier and he can always make up for that one hour another time… He doesn’t even know why he’s thinking about it. You’ll never let him forget about it.

“If you stay I’ll make up some bullshit story about an alternate future, how’s that? I’ll even make myself wear a dress in it,” you grimace.

He gives in, dropping down onto the wall again. He knows why he’s staying, you hope you know why he’s staying. Perhaps you lied earlier. There is one dream you haven’t been able to get out of your mind for years now.

**_Oh, in another place_ **

**_In another time, what could we have been?_ **

“So the alternate future?”

You suck in a breath. “How does me being a housewife with four children sound? Let’s not forget all the horses and pigs I’d have to feed daily if my fake husband and I lived on a farm.”

He laughs. Shortly, but he laughs, for the first time in a long time, simply because the image is so funny to him. You decide you want to see the wrinkles in the outer corners of his eyes for a little bit longer.

“Think about it. Me, peeling potatoes for dinner and darning socks in the winter, hanging out the washing in summer. Pretty sure that’s the life my parents had laid out for me before I left. I wonder if they’d be proud of me.”

You’re lying. You don’t wonder if they’d be proud of you, because you know the answer. You find it hard to think about them at all, these days. Emotions only slow you down out there.

He pokes your side, snapping you out of it.

“I don’t know how much this is going to go to your head, but clearly you need to hear it: the team is proud of you. I’d argue we care about you more than your shitty family.”

Yeah, that definitely goes to your head. Not because of what he’s saying, but because _he’s_ the one saying it. Levi’s praise, while not that uncommon, has always meant more to you than Erwin’s or Hange’s or whoever’s. At first, you couldn’t understand why, but as time went on and the two of you grew closer, your vision unblurred.

“Just doing my best to protect you all out there. Nothing special about that.”

**_Mmm, in another time_ **

**_And in another place_ **

“You need to learn to take a compliment.” He says it like it’s easy, like compliments are something you get every day.

You place your head on his shoulder once more, fake-pouting. “You’re just saying that so I’ll peel you potatoes and darn your socks.”

You doubt he’d step foot on a farm if he could help it. That man would spend his life in the city if he could, far away from the mud and dirt. Since he’s sitting here with you now, though, maybe you could convince him to at least pay you a visit.

“Do you even know how to darn a sock?”

“Absolutely no idea. I just take new ones from the supplies.”

You readjust your position, placing your head in his lap, looking out on the horizon that is slowly coming out of the darkness it’s been shrouded in for so long. My God, you could stay like this forever, holding onto a memory you know you’ll never forge.

It’s dangerous, playing on this boundary, but you’re not one to follow rules put in place by others. His hand rests on your waist, having pulled him to dance on the boundary with you. No further will you go than this, than teetering on the edge, rock crumbling beneath you.

“I’ll make sure to teach you before you go on to live your wonderful farm life with your wonderful new husband.” The offer makes you smile.

“Another thing you can do that I can’t. Maybe you’ll be the housewife and I’ll be the husband,” you suggest, glancing up at his face. He’s doing his best to remain impassive.

He flicks your forehead. “You’re an idiot if you think you’ll get me out on a farm.”

“Oh, come on. Imagine how much fun you’d have cleaning.”

He flicks your forehead again.

**_So lie to me tonight and pretend ‘til the morning light_ **

**_And imagine that you are mine_ **

“Okay, okay. We’ll find a house in the city right next to a tea shop for you, with a high roof so I can wait out for the sunrise every morning.”

It wouldn’t be a bad deal. You’d still have your sleepless nights and he’d have his own tidy space. You laugh inwardly. Apparently, you’re more capable of dreaming than you thought.

“Thought you weren’t planning on living that long.”

You’re relaxed now, body warm against his. You know you’ll have to get going soon. “I’ve still got some fight left in me. Wanna see how long I can make it last.”

It’s a sentiment the both of you share. Use whatever drive you have until you have no drive left. That’s how you’ve always done things and it’s most likely how you’re going to continue doing things.

“Don’t leave too soon,” he says, looking down at you with near-glassy eyes. “You’re still needed around here.”

“Someone sounds worried. And here I was thinking Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman wasn’t a big softie.”

“In your dreams, brat.”

You consider your dreams for a second before light starts overtaking and a new day starts. 

You decide that, impossible as they are to achieve, you’re happy to chase after them for the time being. Maybe, another you, in another time in another life in another place, will have those dreams come true.

**_‘Cause when the sun will rise with the truth coming out of your eyes_ **

**_We’ll be good in another life_ **

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [my ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/erissapphic)


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